Ever have one of those moments where you wish the ground would just swallow you whole? Maybe you said the wrong thing, or perhaps you did something incredibly embarrassing. For one guy, his ultimate faux pas happened during a family dinner, but it wasn't a slip of the tongue. It involved a lot of edibles and a very, very bad time.

This is the story of a man who learned a hard lesson about dosage, timing, and impressing his wife's parents. It's a tale of a trip to a new place, a desire to try something new, and a spectacular, unforgettable failure.

A Trip to the Mile-High City

The adventure began with a trip to Denver, Colorado. For our narrator, coming from a place where cannabis was not legal, this was a chance to explore. He was excited to visit a legal dispensary and see all the options. It felt like a dream for someone who wasn't usually one to seek out such things.

He and his wife headed to a dispensary. Inside, it was a wonderland of choices. Jars filled with different strains, and helpful staff ready to guide him. He was asked what kind of experience he wanted. He wanted it all, apparently.

He ended up buying a large amount of different products. He admits he wasn't great at math or science when it came to understanding quantities. What he thought was a reasonable purchase was, in hindsight, a bit much. It was clear he was out of his depth.

The Edible Dilemma

There was a catch. He couldn't smoke in public, or even in their hotel room. This presented a problem. He needed a way to enjoy his new purchases discreetly. His wife suggested edibles, and he agreed.

They left the store with a lot of cannabis and a small package of gingersnap cookies. These cookies looked innocent enough. They were small, about the size of a quarter. He thought they would be an easy, quiet way to get a buzz going.

Back in the hotel, he opened the package. The instructions said that half a cookie was a dose. But he wasn't one to follow rules when it came to snacks. He figured if one was good, more would be better. He ate one whole cookie, then quickly ate two more when his wife wasn't looking.

He figured he could handle it. He was used to eating a whole package of cookies at home. These tiny gingersnaps couldn't be that strong, right? He was about to find out just how wrong he was.

Dinner

With the In-Laws Begins

About thirty minutes later, they were in the back of a rental car, heading to dinner with his wife's parents. This was supposed to be a nice family meal. But things started to go wrong very quickly.

His stomach rumbled loudly. His wife asked if he was okay, maybe thinking he had eaten something bad. He just clutched his stomach and blamed it on the altitude. He avoided her eyes.

When they arrived at the trendy restaurant, he barely remembers getting to his seat. He was starting to feel it. The waiter even asked if he was doing alright. He tried to play it cool, but his wife's groan suggested he wasn't succeeding.

The Effects Kick In

The effects of the edibles were hitting hard and fast. He started sweating profusely. His wife noticed and pointed it out, her tone a mix of concern and annoyance. He tried to wipe his face, but it was no use.

His mother-in-law asked if he was feeling okay. He mumbled something about the food being spicy. This was a mistake. They hadn't even ordered yet, and there was nothing on the table but bread rolls.

His wife kicked him under the table. "Bathroom. Now," she hissed. He needed a moment to collect himself. He went to the restroom, splashed water on his face, and headed for a urinal.

A Pee That Felt Like Forever

In the bathroom, the edibles played tricks on his mind. He started to feel like he had been peeing for an hour. He worried his wife was looking for him. But he knew that was impossible. A normal pee takes about a minute.

He noticed the guy next to him shuffling away mid-stream. It was an awkward moment. He finished up, splashed more water on his face, and returned to the table. He apologized for taking so long, unsure of how much time had actually passed.

He tried to make small talk with his father-in-law, but he was too high to understand anything. He decided nodding and drinking water was the safest bet. He stood up to get more water, grabbing his glass and holding it out to the waiter across the room.

The waiter was nice about it and promised to keep his water glass full. He also suggested eating a bread roll to help with the empty stomach. It was a good suggestion, but it wouldn't solve the growing paranoia.

The In-Laws Know Everything

After eating all the bread and drinking several glasses of water, he was getting worried. He needed real food to calm his nerves. He suggested to his wife that they ask the waiter what was taking so long.

His wife was losing it. "HOW MANY COOKIES DID YOU EAT?!" she demanded, her voice loud enough for everyone to hear.

He tried to shush her, telling her to keep her voice down. He didn't want her parents to know how messed up he was. But she wasn't having it.

"REALLY?! THEY ARE SITTING TWO FEET AWAY FROM YOU. THEY KNOW," she exclaimed.

He looked up. His in-laws were staring right at him. It felt like an eternity. The secret was out. The dinner had officially become a disaster.

The

Aftermath and Lessons Learned

The rest of the evening was a blur. His wife's main goal was to get him out of the restaurant before he caused any more trouble, like throwing up or having an accident. She practically dragged him out.

His night continued with vomiting and apologizing. He even made some awkward attempts to get close to his wife back at the hotel. Through it all, she stayed by his side.

"Please don't die, we have a mortgage," she kept telling him. It was a strange mix of concern and practicality.

He learned a valuable lesson that night. Never underestimate the power of edibles, especially when you're trying to impress your significant other's parents. It's a story he probably won't live down anytime soon, and one that certainly makes for a wild tale.

This experience is a perfect example of how things can go sideways when you're not prepared. It highlights the importance of knowing your limits and respecting the potency of what you consume. Sometimes, a little bit is more than enough, and a lot can lead to a dinner you'll never forget, for all the wrong reasons.